Chasing Nickels

Sometimes I wonder if ten minutes can actually pass without a poke, a tease, a shout, an argument, or a dispute of some sort.  Strategic planning in seating assignments is now necessary for any close quarter arrangements i.e. car rides, meals, watching movies on the couch...sometimes just existing in one home.  Pre-meditated ridicule is on the daily menu and sometimes I wonder if we will all survive this stage...it is a stage...right?  Anyhow, I inevitably question my parenting skills.  Ask myself "where did I go wrong?" "How did I drop the ball on the whole idea of siblings without rivalry?" 

But now I smile as I think of my own childhood.  Just for visual acuracy it is a devient smile...the sort of self-satisfying...I know it was wrong but it was worth it sorta smile.  I smile in response to the memories of my brother toppling to the floor as a direct result of my foot placed in his path, or the times I snickered at him as he sat in time-out (he sat there a lot) and caused him to protest and have minutes added to his time. 

Ya, I know, not nice.  But I guess that's what kids do.  It was fun and it gives us a reason to laugh today...well I'm laughing...not sure about my tortured brother!  I guess I am still laughing at his mishap today. 

My fave story to tell about my brother Bryan, a.k.a. B, is the one about how I launched his running career.  You see B is eight years my junior.  Simple math proves that this is a bad deal for me as a sixteen year old.  This puts Bryan at 8 when I am in the midst of dating my highschool sweetheart/future husband.  He would never leave us alone.  (I am now convinced this was just great planning on my parent's behalf!)  So we resorted to reverse psychology and bribery, like any well intentioned teenager would do.

"Hey Bryan, I bet your not big enough to run all the way around the house!" I'd chide.

He'd untangle himself from around Matt's leg and chirp "uh-huh, but I don't wanna"

"I'll give you a nickle" I'd bride, "if you can do it".

He was gone.  Little legs just a truckin, one arm pumping (inside joke) blond bowl cut blowing in the breeze.  Pretty soon we'd hear him huffin and puffin around the corner, he'd emerge smiling from ear to ear. 

"Betcha can't do it again and faster this time" 

Off he'd go, around and around and around.  Poor kid.  He'd finally tucker out exhausted. 

"How much did I earn?" he'd ask.

Matt would ususally give him a couple coins from his pocket, but never was it the full booty of his effort.  Apparently he didn't count money yet, because he never complained! 

Needless to say, B went on to run cross country and track in high school.  He attended Mount Mercy College recruited to run cross country and track for them.  Today he manages a running store called Running Wild!  Coincidence?  I think not!  He owes it all to me right? 

Truth is when my little brother graduated from high school I gathered up all the nickels I could find and presented them to him in a clear plastic baggy.  He had earned them, and I was paying up on what I owed.  Well, minus my royalties and commissions.  He has accomplished a lot as a runner, as a person.  I am proud of him.  He will be running the Bix7 again on Saturday for the 10th time.

I guess maybe ridicule and rivalry are by-products of love.  I think of how my own children enjoy torturing one another with boogers and bugs.  How they love to tattle and trip and harrass.  I guess they must really love each other.  Someday they will have lots of great stories to tell...that is if we all survive each other! 

Good luck B!  Run fast :)



Me and B (Back when he was cute)



Open the Window

So I've been thinking a lot about circumstance lately.  It is so easy to live in our own little houses with all our windows closed and feel like what is happening in our "world" is SO important.  And don't get me wrong, it is important...but sometimes when you open up a window, even just pull back the curtain, you can easily be reminded that everyone is facing something.

A few weeks ago at our church's vacation Bible school I was introduced to a girl named Christina.  The kitchen crew had been preparing snacks for the children all morning while chatting about our summer schedules.  Each of us took turns listing the activities we had planned, the obligations we needed to fill and the unexpected things that kept invading our itinerary.....like dogs who kept chewing out their stitches and ring worm, and swimmer's ear, and flat tires and lost flip flops.  How humbling it was to meet this precious child.

Christina walked up to the counter and rested her elbows on the edge. She was probably twelve, a pretty girl, soft eyes, an infectious smile, but she looked wary, burdened. 

"Hi Christina" Miss Laury chirped in her contagious happy tone.  "I am so happy you are here!  Tell all these nice ladies what I told you!" she said smiling.

Miss Laury is a member of our church, and she was Christina's group leader that week, she had stopped in the kitchen to chat between rotations.

Christina looked down sheepishly, but the smile that took over her face was visible through her thick blond bangs.  "I can't" she said shyly, still looking down.

"Now look at me missy, I know you know I am right and I want you to tell everyone who will listen!" Miss Laury doesn't hold back!

Still smiling Chritina raised her head and looked at Miss Laury. 

"Tell them" Miss Laury insisted.

"Okay" she said, "I am special" she mumured shyly.

"What?" Miss Laury said, I didn't hear you clearly, and what else, that's not all?

This time louder, more confident Christina looked at us "I am special, and someday I am going to be somebody who makes a difference". 

"That's right sweety, and whatcha gonna do when you do that?" 

"I'm gonna find you and tell you" 

"And where are you gonna find me?"

"Right here at church she said"

A chorus of encouragement poured out of that kitchen, assuring her that she could do it and that we would all be praying for her and looking forward to meeting her again.

As she trotted off to join her group Miss Laury filled us in on Christina's story, and reminded us all that everyone is facing something.

Chirstiana returned to VBS that Thursday morning and announced she had endured a "bad" night.

From inside my window with the curtain shut tight I consider a bad night as one where I cannot get the kids to stay in bed, or when we get home so late from softball or soccer that there is barely time to bathe the kids before they should be in bed, or someone is up in the night interupting my sleep. 

Christina's bad night was different.  Turns out this twelve year old is the oldest of ~twelve children living in her house.  Most of them are not related, they are mostly children of her mom's friends and boyfriends.  Christina had disclosed to Laury that she is pretty much the caretaker of all the children, making sure they are fed and clothed, keeping what order she can.  She almost didn't come to VBS because she was worried about leaving the other kids behind at home. 

Her "bad" night started with one of the men in the house drunkendly yielding a loaded gun and threatening to kill everyone, he then capturing one of the dogs, putting it in a headlock and pointing the gun to its head.  This was followed up with police intervention and his eventual departure to a jail cell. 

I have a friend who has been seperated from her husband for a year, a neighbor whose grandson endured a debilitating seizure, a friend just diagnosed with breast cancer, a loved one with pre-cancer cells, another with a mono-mono twin pregnancy that is extremely high risk.  So many people are suffering.  My minor complaints sound like luxury compared to the circumstances of others.  Our personal troubles are not unimportant and they are not forgotten by God, but they are all relative.  If we are not willing to open our windows and see what others are facing it is easy to become consumed with our own struggles.  Christina helped me step out the front door and be more aware.  Gave me a desire to think less of self and more of others. 

I realize that I cannot always physically help all of these people.  I cannot always be available to provide for them.  But I can pray for them.  I can offer a word of support, send a card, listen.  The best thing I can do is open the window, step outside my door, cast aside my selfish desires and learn how to better serve others.  God has provided for me in so many ways.  I pray that I never lose track of all that i have been provided because I am currently comfortable. 


Lord thankyou for the blessings that you have bestowed on my house and my family.  Thank you for folks like Miss Laury, willing to win hearts for Jesus, for being bold and available, and persistent. Forgive me for my selfish oblivion. Please keep Christina, Logan, Mike, Deborah, Hannah,Carol, Jerry, Stacy, Teri, Amy and others who are facing trials close to you, so that might feel your hand.   Help me see outside my comfy home and use me where you need me.  Give me a heart that is willing to serve, less of me and more of others.   Amen.