Just a Mom

I love the warming weather, the opportunity to get out and breath in deep.  To open the windows wide and air out the stagnant winter air.  I spent a recent evening walking with some friends, discussing the ins and outs of the day when our topic turned to raising girls.  The three of us, have eleven children collectively.  Each with a mix of boys and girls. 

"Obviously boys and girls are different, but the way God hard-wired us with certain attributes is amazing!" one friend commented.

"I never had to teach my daughter to snuggle and care for her dollies, or my son to vrrroomm his trucks and love throwing balls".  added the other.

The next question traipses around in my brain regularly, guarded against the worldview, against my own insecurities, I keep it hidden.  But wrapped in the security of friends who love me, I ask.
"Is it wrong to encourage my daughters to be just moms?  If asked what they want to be when they grow up
their answers are clear and concise."

"I want to be a mommy."

I always wanted to be a mommy too.  There was never a shred of my existence that didn't know I would have children.  I always had a picture of a family.  But in our society, in our generation, this answer was juvenile and incomplete.  The rebuttal question was generally, "Well yes, but what else do you want to be?"  As if shaping the future generation was not an important enough job.  The world wants you to have status, letters behind our names, six-figure incomes...those are prizes deemed worthy of our efforts.  But just a mom, a simple housewife?  It's a lost art, it lacks ambition, it's a lazy escape, so they say. 

So, my pretty leather bound diploma was acquired.  I worked hard, I put in the hours, I worked my way up the ladder.  Blood, sweat and tears went into my degree.   Long nights, early mornings and frazzled nerves.  Six years, countless papers, quizzes, tests, experiments, hundreds of stalls mucked, horses fed, one wedding, one baby, and one thesis later I was a Master of Animal Science. 

Tyler hanging out at the barn

Year one post graduation, I moved my tiny family to Kansas.  The dream job.  Director of Horse Production at a small community college.  I had attained the dream.  Here lies the problem.  The dream wasn't the job.  The dream was the tiny family.  So the 24/7 responsibilities of being a horse farm manager, writing new curriculum, managing all my students, and being a mom....it wasn't working for me.  After all....all I ever wanted, was to be "just" a mom. 

My pretty little diploma adorns the third shelf of my china cabinet, tucked under a pie plate and some random birthday party supplies. 

My college days were an amazing time in mine and Matt's lives.  But looking back, I really think I learned more about how to be a mom, than I did about how to be a scientist.  Partly from the fact that I met my best friend and the best mom in the world there, Shanna.  And partly because I learned that what I was learning really doesn't matter in the big picture.   

 

  

I haven't ridden on or even touched a horse in nearly three years.  I still get all rubber-necked when we pass a horse farm, but more because I appreciate the beauty of God's creation than a longing for what once was.  Today the blood, sweat and tears, the long nights, early mornings and frazzled nerves are going into a product that will surpass this lifetime.  A small herd of God-loving, God-fearing believers who will shed light in dark places and continue a legacy that will strengthen with each generation. 

I've answered my own question.  "Yes it is okay"  I will be a cheerleader for my children no matter what.  But I will also always remind them to cling to their instincts, and focus on the bigger picture.  To hear God's voice and follow His will for their lives, and ultimately, to serve Him and serve others.  Only time will tell what this will look like, but today, I will teach them to cook and clean, to mend and organize, to love and laugh, and enjoy!



Me & Shanna